My Sweet Emmett,
It’s been almost 4 months without you in my arms. I’ve tried writing to you a million times, but my emotions always get the best of me. I love you and miss you more than words can say. I want you to know that I would have done anything to save you. I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to live your life here on earth. You would have loved Cali and Brody, I just know it. You are my kid, afterall. :)
So many people love you. But I can promise you that I love you the most. I am making it my mission to share you with as many people as possible. You are so special. You made me a mom and for that I’m forever grateful. Whenever I’m sad, I think about you. I know you are with me in everything I do, and quite honestly, you are the reason I wake up everyday and push forward. Although your physical absence is the reason for my darkest days, it’s still you that brings me an immense amount of joy. I guess grief and joy really can coexist.
I often think back to how excited we were to have you. When I found out I was pregnant, I sprinted down the stairs to tell your dad. We were so looking forward to our sweet baby boy. I’m sad I will never know what color hair you would have had, or the color of your eyes. I’m sad I will never get to hear you cry or talk or giggle. I can only dream of what you would look like and what kind of person you would be. I’m pretty sure you would have been a chunky little guy with blonde hair and blue eyes. In my heart, I know you would have been an honest, loving, and compassionate little boy. It’s a shame you didn’t get to stay. We need more people like you in the world.
You’ve taught me more in our short time together than I’ve learned in my 29 years of living. Keep teaching me and showing me the way, Emmett. I’m so lucky I have you by my side.
I love you and miss you. Forever and a day.